My flight is getting ready to be pushed back from the gate when I get tapped on the shoulder from a lady sitting behind me.
"We are so blessed today, we have a Latter Day Saint's Missionary on Board," she says, "and no plane has ever crashed with an LDS Missionary on board."
I turn to her and say," Ma'am, we're doubly blessed today because no flight has ever crashed with me on board either!"
At the airport check-in counter I overheard a woman ask for window seats for both she and her husband.
The clerk pointed out that this would prevent them for sitting together.
"Sweetie," the woman replied, "I've just spent 10 days of quality time in a compact rental car with this man. I KNOW what I'm requesting!"
For two solid hours, the lady sitting next to a man on an airplane had told him about her grandchildren. She had even produced a plastic-foldout photo album of all nine of the children.
She finally realized that she had dominated the entire conversation on her grandchildren.
"Oh, I've done all the talking, and I'm so sorry. I know you certainly have something to say. Please, tell me... what do you think of my grandchildren?"