elderly jokes

Category: "Elderly Jokes"
4 votes

Now that I am a senior (citizen, that is) I have everything that I ever wanted as a teenager, only 50 years later.

- I don't have to go to school or work.
- I get an allowance every month.
- I have my own pad.
- I don't have a curfew.
- I have a driver's license and my own car.
- I have ID that gets me into bars and the liquor store.
- The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant.
- And I don't have acne.

4 votes

CATEGORY Elderly Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
$50.00 won 7 votes

One evening a grandmother was babysitting her two granddaughters Anne and Betty. Presently, 8:00 PM rolled around.

"Okay, time for bed," she informed the two children who were playing in the den.

"Why?" Anne asked (aged 6). "It's so early!"

"Your father said your bedtime is 8:00," the grandmother said.

"You don't have to listen to him," the Betty (aged 4½) replied.

"Why not?" the grandmother asked.

Betty answered, "Because you're his mother!"

7 votes

CATEGORY Elderly Jokes
Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "barber7796" |
$25.00 won 7 votes

Three seniors are out for a stroll.

One of them remarks, “It’s windy.”

Another replies, “No way. It’s Thursday.”

The last one says, “Me too. Let’s have a soda.”

7 votes

CATEGORY Elderly Jokes
Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "maryjones" |
5 votes

I was wanting to fly my 82 year old mother, who has never flown to Chicago, for a visit.

"No way am I getting on an air plane," was mother's response.

I replied, "Look, Mom, when it's your time to go, it doesn't matter if you're on the ground or in the air."

Mother said, "I know, I just don't want to be that far off the ground when it's the pilot's time to go."

5 votes

CATEGORY Elderly Jokes
posted by "maryjones" |