A retired couple are discussing all aspects of their future. The man asked the woman, "What will you do if die?"
After some thought, she said that she'd probably look for a house sharing situation with three other single or widowed women who might be a little younger than herself, since she is so active for her age.
Then she inquired, "What will you do if I die first?"
He replied, "Probably the same thing."
An elegant older lady is ushered into the most prestigious party at the country club. This is the first time out making an appearance since the wedding. Her new husband just happens to be the founder & president of the club.
When she came into view, there was a low hum among the other women as they gathered round full of questions, especially about the HUGE diamond on her finger. The madame tried to be nice about it all but was getting a little annoyed with all the busy bodies. She told them that the diamond was the Cloppman Diamond and it came with a curse.
Now the hum was getting louder as they wanted to know what the curse was.
She responded, matter of factly, "Mr. Cloppman!"
Two older women who were rivals in a social circle met at a party.
"My dear," said the first woman "Are those real pearls?"
"They are," replied the second woman.
"Of course the only way I could tell would be for me to bite them," smiled the first woman.
The second responded, "Yes, but for that you would need real teeth."