Now that I am a senior (citizen, that is) I have everything that I ever wanted as a teenager, only 50 years later.
- I don't have to go to school or work.
- I get an allowance every month.
- I have my own pad.
- I don't have a curfew.
- I have a driver's license and my own car.
- I have ID that gets me into bars and the liquor store.
- The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant.
- And I don't have acne.
One evening a grandmother was babysitting her two granddaughters Anne and Betty. Presently, 8:00 PM rolled around.
"Okay, time for bed," she informed the two children who were playing in the den.
"Why?" Anne asked (aged 6). "It's so early!"
"Your father said your bedtime is 8:00," the grandmother said.
"You don't have to listen to him," the Betty (aged 4½) replied.
"Why not?" the grandmother asked.
Betty answered, "Because you're his mother!"
I was wanting to fly my 82 year old mother, who has never flown to Chicago, for a visit.
"No way am I getting on an air plane," was mother's response.
I replied, "Look, Mom, when it's your time to go, it doesn't matter if you're on the ground or in the air."
Mother said, "I know, I just don't want to be that far off the ground when it's the pilot's time to go."