An elderly couple was crossing the Canadian border to go to their winter recluse in Florida. At the crossing they were stopped by an over- zealous border guard, on his first day at work. He commenced to ask the couple a battery of questions.
The husband, on behalf of his almost deaf wife, answered the barrage of queries.
Officer: "Where are you going?"
Husband: "We're on vacation and going to Florida."
Wife: "What did he say? What did he say?"
Husband: "He wants to know where we're going."
Officer: "How long will you be gone?"
Husband: "About one month."
Wife: "What did he say? What did he say?"
Husband: "He wants to know how long we'll be gone."
Officer: "Where are you from?"
Husband: "We're from Toronto, Ontario."
Officer: "Toronto, huh. I was there once. Nice city. Had the worst romantic experience in my life."
Wife: "What did he say? What did he say?"
Husband: "He says he knows you!"
Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?"
"Ninety eight," she replied, "two years older than me."
"So you're 96?" the undertaker commented.
She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?"
I just finished candy shopping for Halloween.
That’s when the 55 and over seniors in golf carts show up for trick or trick, in my community.
They will have there choice of: Prilosec; Pepto, Zyrtec, Mylanta, or the ever popular, Gas-X.
The other day I bought a new GPS for old angry people...
It tells other people where to go!