elderly jokes

Category: "Elderly Jokes"
8 votes

Pat O'Brian lay at death's door and he sent for a lawyer to make his last will. O'Brian's wife remained in the room while the lawyer was there. The lawyer said, "State your affairs briefly."

Mr. O'Brian: "Timothy Duggan owes me $5."

Mrs. O'Brian: "Good, sensible to the last."

Mr. O'Brian: "Patrick Kelly owes me $15."

Mrs. O'Brian: "Good, sensible to the last."

Mr. O'Brian: "Michael McKay, I owe $100."

Mrs. O'Brian: "My soul, listen to him rave out of his mind."

8 votes

CATEGORY Elderly Jokes
posted by "Pshark1998" |
5 votes

As Mr. Aging was browsing through an old newspaper, he read aloud to his wife a news item about men losing their memory cells faster than women do.

"It must be true," she said. "That's the second time you've read that article to me."

5 votes

CATEGORY Elderly Jokes
posted by "wadejagz" |
4 votes

A friend of a friend of mine was sitting on a lawn sunning and reading, when he was startled by a fairly late model car crashing through a hedge and coming to rest on his lawn. He helped the elderly driver out and sat him on a lawn chair.

"My goodness," he exclaimed. "You are quite old to be driving!"

"Yes," he replied. "I am old enough that I don't need a license anymore. The last time I went to my doctor he examined me and asked if I had a driving license. I told him yes and handed it to him."

"He took scissors out of a drawer, cut the license into pieces and threw them in the wastebasket. 'You won't be needing this anymore,' he said."

"So I thanked him and left."

4 votes

CATEGORY Elderly Jokes
posted by "wadejagz" |
4 votes

Two elderly gentlemen in their mid-80s meet in the lobby of their apartment building. Both being hard of hearing, one asked the other in a louder voice, "Are you going to the market?"

The other one replies, "No, no. I am going to the market."

The first gentleman says, "Oh, I thought you were going to the market."

4 votes

CATEGORY Elderly Jokes
posted by "S B R" |