elderly jokes

Category: "Elderly Jokes"
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Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says, "John, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age, how do you feel?"

John replies, "I feel just like a newborn baby."

"Really! Like a newborn baby, you say?"

"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I even drool on myself."

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CATEGORY Elderly Jokes
posted by "Sherrie Newbury" |
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John: "My grandpa is 98 years old, and he doesn't even use glasses."

Jack: "Wow, that is incredible!"

John: "Yep, he drinks straight from the bottle."

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CATEGORY Elderly Jokes
posted by "Misko Benka" |
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As men grow older they reach that stage in life where their hair quits growing on their head...

And begins to come out of their nose and ears instead.

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CATEGORY Elderly Jokes
posted by "Douglas" |
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Not long ago, an elderly, slim and trim lady was admitted to the hospital. After she finished giving a nurse her information, she asked the nurse if she could help her to the bathroom.

Above the commode, she noticed a note. It read, 'Toilet weight 300 pounds'.

She turned to the nurse and asked, "Why would I want to lift a toilet?"

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CATEGORY Elderly Jokes
posted by "Janice Marler" |