elderly jokes

Category: "Elderly Jokes"
2 votes

Out bicycling one day with my eight-year-old granddaughter, Carolyn, I got a little wistful.

"In ten years," I began, "you'll want to be with your friends and you won't go walking, biking, and swimming with me like you do now."

Carolyn shrugged, "That's okay, because in ten years you'll be too old to do all those things anyway."

2 votes

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posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
1 votes

It was Grandpa Jones' 100th birthday and he was still in perfect health. At his birthday party he was asked how he managed to live so long and stay so fit.

He explained, "I put my long life down to spending so much time outdoors. I've been in the open air, day after day, rain or shine, for the last 75th years."

"How do you manage to keep up such a rigorous fitness regime?" they asked.

"It's simple," he said. "When I married my wife 75 years ago, we both made a solemn pledge. We agreed that whenever we had a fight, whoever was proved wrong would go outside and take a long walk."

1 votes

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posted by "HENNE" |
$12.00 won 8 votes

While touring an old Roman prison the first tourist says: "Listen to this. It says here that in some old Roman prisons they have unearthed the petrified remains of some of the prisoners."

Second tourist: "Gracious, that must be where the name 'hardened criminals' originated."

8 votes

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Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "maryjones" |
1 votes

I'm not a tech junkie but I was a little skeptical when the salesman told me this would be the last GPS I ever needed. I am only 65 and I know technology changes and new and better ones come out every year.

I began to feel extremely uncomfortable and thought maybe he was right when I went to visit my wife at the cemetery and the GPS blurted out: "You have reached your final destination."

1 votes

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posted by "Retired Terp" |