elderly jokes
Favorite this joke "Look at ME!" boasted the fit old man to a group of young people. "Every morning I do fifty push-ups, do fifty sit-ups, and walk two miles. I'm fit as a fiddle! And you want to know why? I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't stay up late, and I don't chase after women!"
He smiled at them, teeth white, eyes glittering, "And tomorrow, I'm going to celebrate my 95th birthday!"
"Oh, really?" drawled one of the young onlookers. "How?"
Joe: "I still remember what my grandpa said when he kicked the bucket."
Moe: "What did he say?"
Joe: "He said, 'How far do you think I can kick this bucket?'"
I have finally made it to those wonder years you hear about while growing up.
I wonder where my glasses are...
I wonder where my car is parked...
I wonder where my cell phone is...
I wonder where my sunglasses are...
I wonder...
Things You Say After 50:
Where the #$%# is my phone?
How did I get that bruise?
How do they expect you to read that small print?
Where'd I put my glasses?
I don't care if it doesn't look fashionable, it's comfortable!
Who the heck is calling at 9pm?
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