elderly jokes

Category: "Elderly Jokes"
$6.00 won 3 votes
 

Whenever asked, "How are you doing?"....

the gentleman, who was born in 1947, responds, "Pretty darn good, considering 72 years ago I couldn't walk."

3 votes

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Joke Won 9th Place won $6.00
posted by "Jolly Jim" |
4 votes

An old man was relaxing at his hundredth birthday party when a reporter went up to him. "Sir, what is the secret of your long life?"

The man considered this for a moment, then replied, "Every evening at 9 p.m. I have a glass of port. Good for the heart I've heard."

The reporter then asked, "That's ALL?"

The man smiled, "Well, canceling my voyage on Titanic sure didn't hurt."

4 votes

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posted by "HENNE" |
3 votes

There are advantages to being over the age of 60...

1. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
2. Things you buy now won't wear out.

3. You can eat supper at 4 pm.

4. You can live without sex but not your glasses.
5. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

3 votes

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posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
2 votes

An older couple is lying in bed one morning, having just awakened from a good night's sleep. He takes her hand and she responds, "Don't touch me."

"Why not?" he asks.

She answers back, "Because I'm dead."

The husband says, "What are you talking about? We're both lying here in bed together and talking to one another."

She says, "No, I'm definitely dead."

He insists, "You're not dead. What in the world makes you think you're dead?"

"Because I woke up this morning and nothing hurts."

2 votes

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posted by "wadejagz" |