elderly jokes

When Fred went to his barber he expressed concern about going bald.

Fred: “Now that I’m getting older I’m worried about my hair falling out.”

Barber: “Men’s hair doesn’t ever fall out.”

Fred: “I’ve seen many balding older men.”

Barber: “When men get older their hair follicles get weak making the hair fall back inside their head.”

Fred: “That’s preposterous, do you have any proof?”

Barber: “Now that you’re older and thinning have noticed excess hair coming out your ears?”

Fred: “Yes, actually I have noticed that?”

Barber: “I rest my case.”

Elle: "Grandpa, why are these eggs so large?"

Grandpa: "They're duck eggs."

Elle: "Where did you get them?"

Grandpa: "On the internet. It's easy if you use Quack Quack Go, just type in eggs and hit enter."

Elle: "I think you meant duck duck go."

Grandpa: "I don't think so. You have to use the right search engine and I wasn't looking for ducks."

Elle: "What if I wanted to donate to animals in wildfire distress?"

Grandpa: "Firefox and if you' want to find a date go to...."

Elle: "Don't tell me, Yahoo right?"

Walking can add minutes to your life!

This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000 per month.

A senior citizen was showing off a new car he had bought to his grandson.

"Let's go for a spin," he told the youngster.

The old man pulled out of his driveway and placed his fingers above the top of the steering wheel, controlling it only with his thumbs pressed against the lower edge of the wheel.

"That's weird," the grandpa said, "I still don't hear anything."

"What are you talking about?" the grandson asked.

"The car salesman said I could hear lots of different kinds of music if I used a thumb drive."