elderly jokes
Favorite this joke A deaf old lady went to the doctor to find out whether there was any risk of her getting pregnant again.
He told her, “Mrs. Marx, you’re seventy-five. Whilst one can never rule out an act of God, if you were to have a baby it would be a miracle.”
When she got home, her husband asked her what the doctor had said.
“I didn’t quite catch it all,” she admitted, “but it sounded a bit fishy; something about an act of cod, and if I had a baby it would be a mackerel.”
An elderly couple went to breakfast at a restaurant where the Senior Special was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $1.99.
"Sounds good," my the woman said. "But I don't want the eggs."
"Then I'll have to charge you two dollars and forty-nine cents because you're ordering a la carte," the waitress warned her.
"You mean I'd have to pay more for NOT taking the eggs?" she asked incredulously.
"Yep," stated the waitress.
"I'll take the special," she replied.
"How do you want your eggs?"
"Raw and in the shell," she exclaimed.
She took the two eggs home.
Why are harps like elderly parents?
They’re both unforgiving and difficult to get in and out of cars.
Now that I am a senior (citizen, that is) I have everything that I ever wanted as a teenager, only 50 years later.
- I don't have to go to school or work.
- I get an allowance every month.
- I have my own pad.
- I don't have a curfew.
- I have a driver's license and my own car.
- I have ID that gets me into bars and the liquor store.
- The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant.
- And I don't have acne.
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