A deaf old lady went to the doctor to find out whether there was any risk of her getting pregnant again.

He told her, “Mrs. Marx, you’re seventy-five. Whilst one can never rule out an act of God, if you were to have a baby it would be a miracle.”

When she got home, her husband asked her what the doctor had said.

“I didn’t quite catch it all,” she admitted, “but it sounded a bit fishy; something about an act of cod, and if I had a baby it would be a mackerel.”