elderly jokes
Favorite this joke On a wintry day, my 90-year-old father was in the supermarket trying to pay for his groceries. Bundled up against the cold, his gloved hands were having trouble retrieving and counting the exact change.
The transaction evidently took too long for the man behind him in line, who muttered a curse.
Dad stopped counting, turned around, and warned, “Be quiet or I’ll write a check.”
It was a typical noisy dinner at my parents’s home, and Dad was having trouble following the conversations. He kept jumping in with off-topic comments and asking for things to be repeated.
I finally told him he needed to get a hearing aid.
Looking at me as if I was crazy, he said, “What would I do with a hand grenade?”
An 85-year-old widow went on a blind date with a 90-year-old man.
When she returned to her daughter's house later that night, she seemed upset.
"What happened, mother?" the daughter asked.
"I had to slap his face three times!"
"You mean he got fresh?"
"No," she answered. "I had to wake him up. I thought he was dead!"
An old man was a witness in a burglary case. The defense lawyer asked Richard, "Did you see my client commit this burglary?"
"Yes," said Richard, "I saw him plainly take the goods."
The lawyer asks Richard again, "Richard, this happened at night. Are you sure you saw my client commit this crime?"
"Yes," says Richard, "I saw him do it."
Then the lawyer asks Richard, "Richard listen, you are 80 years old and your eye sight probably is bad. Just how far can you see at night?"
Richard says, "I can see the moon, how far is that?"
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