While touring an old Roman prison the first tourist says: "Listen to this. It says here that in some old Roman prisons they have unearthed the petrified remains of some of the prisoners."
Second tourist: "Gracious, that must be where the name 'hardened criminals' originated."
I'm not a tech junkie but I was a little skeptical when the salesman told me this would be the last GPS I ever needed. I am only 65 and I know technology changes and new and better ones come out every year.
I began to feel extremely uncomfortable and thought maybe he was right when I went to visit my wife at the cemetery and the GPS blurted out: "You have reached your final destination."
Two old guys, Fred and Sam went to the movies. A few minutes after it started, Fred heard Sam rustling around and he seemed to be searching on the floor under his seat.
“What are you doing?” asked Fred.
Sam, a little grumpy by this time, replied “I had a caramel in my mouth and it dropped out. I can’t find it.”
Fred told him to forget it because it would be too dirty by now. “But I’ve got to,” said Sam, “my teeth are in it!”
An elderly man was sitting on his porch rocking back and forth. He seemed to be having a long discussion with himself. Every once in a while he broke into loud laughter. At other times, he shouted “Phooey” in disgust.
A policeman passing by stopped to watch the man and asked him what was going on. “I’m telling myself jokes,” the old man told him. “And if I say so myself, most of them are funny.”
“Then why do you keep saying ‘phooey’?" the policeman asked.
“I only say that when I heard ‘em before.”