elderly jokes

A bent-over old lady hobbled into a doctor's office. Within minutes, she came out again but miraculously, she was standing up as straight as could be.

A man in the waiting room, who had been watching her, said in amazement, "My goodness, what did the doctor do to you?"

The old lady replied, "He gave me a longer cane."

An older man went to his doctor with a variety of complaints. After examining him, the doctor said, "Well, you've got some problems, all right, but if you'd give up smoking, drinking, and chasing women, I think you'd last a good while longer."
"But Doc," answered the man, "I don't smoke, drink, or chase women."
"Oh," replied the doctor, "I'm sorry."
Moral: Keep some vices to give up in your old age.

An eighty-year-old man went to his doctor to complain about pain in one knee. The doctor examined it gently and said, "Well, you know that knee is eighty years old. You can't expect too much."
"That's true," the man agreed; "but Doc, so is the other one and it's not bothering me like this one!"

It was rumored that a particular Native American had a fantastic memory. Hundreds of people asked the American questions which he was able to answer. A skeptical young man set out to find this American. When he did find the American he thought he'd set a test. After standing in a long queue of people asking questions it was finally his turn. He asked the American what he had had for breakfast 10 years ago. The American replied: eggs. The young man went off not entirely satisfied because there was no evidence to prove that the answer was correct.
Ten years later the man comes across the Native American again. Very pleased to see him he comes along to the American and greets him in the traditional "How". The American looks up at him, pauses for a moment and then replies: Scrambled.