elderly jokes

Two elderly men were sunning themselves on a Miami Beach when they started a friendly conversation.
"I was able to move here to retire in Miami after my business burned to the ground," the one man said. "The insurance payment sure came in handy."
The other replied, "I'm here living from an insurance claim when my factory was flooded out."
The first man pondered for a few seconds and then asked, "How do you start a flood?"

A bent-over old lady hobbled into a doctor's office. Within minutes, she came out again but miraculously, she was standing up as straight as could be.

A man in the waiting room, who had been watching her, said in amazement, "My goodness, what did the doctor do to you?"

The old lady replied, "He gave me a longer cane."

An older man went to his doctor with a variety of complaints. After examining him, the doctor said, "Well, you've got some problems, all right, but if you'd give up smoking, drinking, and chasing women, I think you'd last a good while longer."
"But Doc," answered the man, "I don't smoke, drink, or chase women."
"Oh," replied the doctor, "I'm sorry."
Moral: Keep some vices to give up in your old age.

An eighty-year-old man went to his doctor to complain about pain in one knee. The doctor examined it gently and said, "Well, you know that knee is eighty years old. You can't expect too much."
"That's true," the man agreed; "but Doc, so is the other one and it's not bothering me like this one!"