elderly jokes

An elderly lady was sitting in a restaurant crying silently with tears collecting in a bowl of soup. Noticing this, the waiter walked over to her and politely said,"Lady that soup don't need no more salt".

A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him. "Pardon me," she said, "I'm sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It's just that you look just like my son, who just died recently." "I'm very sorry," replied the young man, "is there anything I can do for you?" "Yes," she said, "As I'm leaving, can you say 'Good bye, Mother'? It would make me feel so much better." "Sure," answered the young man.
As the old woman was leaving, he called out, "Goodbye, Mother!" As he stepped up to the checkout counter, he saw that his total was $127.50. "How can that be?" He asked, "I only purchased a few things!" "Your mother said that you would pay for her," said the clerk.

An elderly man constantly called his doctor at all hours of the day and night and would then keep him on the phone with a litany of imagined ailments. Finally the doctor could take it no longer.
"Listen, Mr. Becker. If you wake me up again in the middle of the night with another one of your tales about some made-up ailment, i am going to insist you go to another physician. Have I made myself clear?" And he hung up the phone.
A week later, the unfortunate man slipped and fell down a flight of stairs, breaking his hip, two ribs, en elbow, and suffering a concussion. He was rushed to the hospital and put in intensive care. An hour later, his doctor walked in on him, saw his condition, and beamed, "Now I think you're getting the hang of it!"

An old couple is sitting in their living room when the old woman leans over and says to the old man, "Remember when we were younger and you used to hold my hand?" The old man grabs the old woman's hand. Then she says, "Remember when we were younger and you used to put your arm around me?" The old man puts his arm around the old woman. Then she says, "Remember when we were younger and you used to nibble on my ear?" To the old woman's surprise, the old man gets up off the couch and starts to walk away. "Honey, where are
you going?" she says. The old man replies, "I'm going to get my dentures."