elderly jokes

A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says,

"Please come over here and help me.
I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."

Her neighbor asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The little silver haired lady says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."
Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,
"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."
He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then," he said with a deep sigh ............

"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."

Two old men were sitting in the yard outside the care home one day when Tim turned to the other and said "John I'm really feeling my age today I just hurt all over, how are you feeling?
John replied "I feel just like a new born babe"
Tim looked at him startled "A New Born babe really?"
"Yep, I have no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants."

You know you're a senior citizen when every time you leave your house; you have to go back because of something you forget.

In 1997 at the age of 87 and not acquainted with modern technology, Ruth was given a "cordless" phone by her son. He lived 1500 miles away. After setting it up and showing her how to use it he went home and called her. "How is your new phone working, Mom." Her reply astonished him. "Oh we took it back. It wouldn't work. It did not even have a cord."