elderly jokes

“I think the Johnson’s are suffering from age related stress,” a woman said of her neighbors. “What do mean?” asked her husband. “He won’t act his age, and she won’t admit hers.”

“Grandpa, do you mind if I play my new harmonica in here?” asked little Phil.

“Of course not, Phil. I love music. In fact, when your grandma and I were young, music saved my life."

“What happened?” asked Phil.

"Well, it was during the famous Johnstown flood. The dam broke and when the water hit our house it knocked it right off the foundation. Grandma got on the dining room table and floated out safely.”

“How about you?”

“Me? Well, I accompanied her on the piano!”

A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says,

"Please come over here and help me.
I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."

Her neighbor asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The little silver haired lady says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."
Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,
"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."
He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then," he said with a deep sigh ............

"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."