A young man walks up to a park bench where an elderly gentleman is quietly weeping asks if he is OK. The old guy says, "yes, I am great"! I am in love with a beautiful 25 year old model who adores me. She cooks all my meals and we make sweet love nearly everyday".

The young man asks, "So why are YOU crying"?

The old guy says, "I can't remember where I live...."

I don't always test my code, but when I do, it is in production....

Four engineers where riding in a car when it just stopped.

The chemical engineer said, "We need to drain/refill all the fluids".
The electrical engineer said, "No, we need to rewire it".
The mechanical engineer said, "Lets rebuild it".

They all turned to the Microsoft engineer and he said, "Why don't we all get out of the car and back in....."

One day a curious little girl started asking her mommy questions about the origin of her little brother. She just kept asking questions and her mommy believed she should have an answer to ANY question she asked. One question led to another and eventually the mommy had to describe to the little girl EXACTLY how the sperm got to the egg....

The little girl got a disgusted look on her face and shouted, "EEEEWWWW!!! and you and daddy had to do it TWICE!!!!"