elderly jokes

Grandpa and Grandma were living with their son and daughter-in-law. Grandpa noticed that his son had a bottle of Viagra and asked if he could have one.

His son said, "Dad, I don't think you should take one, they're very strong and expensive."

Grandpa said, "I know, but I want to try one. How much are they?"

His son replied, "$30 each."

Grandpa only had a $50 bill but was going to the bank. He told his son that he would leave $30 under his pillow that night.

The next morning his son found $130 under his pillow and said, "Dad, I told you it was only $30. There's $130 under my pillow!"

Grandpa said, "That's ok, the other $100 is from Grandma!"

Mable and Faye are sitting in their retirement home discussing the little old men who lived there.

Mable says, “I sure am lonely since my husband died…I wish I had a boyfriend, but am not sure how to catch the attention of the geezers around here”.

Faye says, “These gentlemen are lonely also, and many haven’t had any romance in their lives for decades. I bet if they thought they could get a kiss you’d have their attention”.

So Mable starts walking the halls, and comes to the first room and knocks. A little old man answers, and she says “I’m offering up super kisses, you interested?” but he replies, “No thanks” and shuts the door.

She doesn't get discouraged, and heads to the next room. “I’m offering up super kisses, you interested?” but again, this man is not interested. This continues for several attempts, and when she finally gets to the room at the end of the hall again she knocks. A little old man answers the door.

“I’m offering up super kisses, you interested?” she asks. He replies, “I don’t want a kiss, but I’ll take the soup”.

My Grandma's sense of humor has always been her strongest attribute.

She was mugged a few years ago, unfortunately. As the young punk held her up and demanded all her money, she said, "I don't have any money."

"I don't believe you! I'm gonna search you! " he sneered. So he started patting her down all over really well.

"I guess you don't have any money..." he said disappointed.

"I told you," my Grandma replied. "But if you do that again, I'll write you a check!"