police jokes

A police detective was at the house of a woman whose past three husbands had suspiciously died. "I heard your first two husbands died of food poisoning." he inquired. "What caused it?"

"Poisonous mushrooms." she replied.

"I see," replied the inspector. "And how did your third husband die?"

"He wouldn't eat his mushrooms."

I got pulled over for speeding.

Officer: “What’s your name?”

Me: “Last name is Goman”

Officer: “And your first name?”

Me: “Frida”

Officer: “You’re Frida Goman?”

Me: “Why thank you! I’ll just be on my way then.”

Three new recruits were being tested looking at a mug shot. The instructor asks the first recruit what he noticed. The recruit responded, "He had only one eye."

The instructor reminded the recruit that this was a side profile shot. He then asks recruit #2. Recruit #2 indicated that he had only one ear.

Frustrated the inspector goes to recruit #3, who replied that the guy in the mug shot was wearing contact lenses.

The inspector checked his notes and noticed the guy in the mug shot wore contact lens. "How did you know that?" he ask recruit #3.

"Well, he had to be wearing contact lens. There was no way that a guy with one eye and one ear could wear glasses."

Traffic cop: "Your license, please."

Motorist: "Pardon me, I'm afraid I forgot."

Traffic cop: "You forgot and left it at home?"

Motorist: "No, forgot to get one."