The police rang me today to say they've recovered our stolen sofa...
Which I thought was nice of them, since it was starting to look scruffy and faded.
A motorcycle cop was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix.
The doctors operated and advised him that all was well. However, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs on his chest. Worried that it might be a second surgery the doctors hadn't told him about, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown down enough so he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable.
Taped firmly across his hairy chest were three wide strips of adhesive tape, the ultra sticky kind. Written in large black letters was the sentence, "Get well soon! Luv, from the nurse you gave a ticket to last week!"
Artist Pablo Picasso surprised a burglar at work in his new chateau. The intruder got away, but Picasso told the police he could do a rough sketch of the suspect.
On the basis of his drawing, the police arrested a mother superior, the minister of finance, a washing machine, and the Eiffel tower.
A driver visiting a big city for the first time stopped at a red light. But when the light turned green, he stayed where he was.
After the light changed several more times and he still didn't move, a traffic cop ran over and inquired politely, "What's wrong? Don't we have any colors you like?"