Policeman: "Why are you driving without a light?"
Scooterist: "There is light everywhere."
Policeman: "Then shall I remove the air from your tires?"
Scooterist: "Why would you do that?"
Policeman: "Because there is air everywhere..."
I was at a mini-mart one day when I noticed a woman smoking a cigarette while she was gassing up her car. There was a deputy in the store watching her. Suddenly the woman's arm caught fire. She was screaming and trying desperately to put it out, but couldn't.
The deputy ran over and put out the fire with his soda. He then handcuffed the lady and put her in the back of his squad car. I couldn't resist going over to him and asking what he was charging the woman with.
He looked at me, smiled, and said, "I'm charging her with waving a firearm around."
A salesman, tired of his job, gave it up to become a policeman.
Several months later, a friend who used to work with him asked him how he liked his new role.
"Well," he replied, "the pay is good and the hours aren't bad, but what I like best is that the customer isn't always right!"