A state trooper is driving down the highway when he sees a truck driver pull over,
walk to the side of the truck with a tire jack, bang on the side of the truck a few times, and then drive away. A couple of miles down the road the driver does the same thing.
A few more miles, same thing. The trooper pulls the truck over and asks the driver to explain. The driver says, “Well, the load limit is ten tons, and I’m carrying fifteen tons of parakeets, so I’ve got to keep some of them flying around.”
Policeman: "Did you get the license number of the car that knocked you down?"
Pedestrian: "No, but I know who it was. My mother-in-law!"
Policeman: "How can you be so certain?"
Pedestrian: "I’d recognize that laugh anywhere!"
One night, while on foot patrol, a Police officer approached a local bar. Through the door stumbled a drunk who promptly fell on his backside. He lay on the ground with his eyes closed. Upon opening his eyes, he sees the Officer looking down at him.
He says,"Osifer, did you see me fall!"
The Officer says,"Yeah, I did."
The drunk asks, “Do you know who I am?"
"Nope." Comes the reply.
"Well,” says the drunk, “Then how do you know it was me that fell?"