police jokes

The police officer: “You were exceeding the speed limit, ma’am, weren’t you?”
The driver: “Yes, I was, sir, but you see my brakes are so bad that I wanted to get home before I had an accident.”

A rookie was calling up his station on his pocket radio.
“I’m outside the Plaza Mall,” he reported. “A man has been robbed
I’ve got one them.”
“Which one?” asked the operator.
“The one that was robbed.”

Police officer: I'm sorry sir, but you will have to come with me.
Driver: Why?
Police officer: You were driving at 120 miles per hour!
Driver: But I have only been in my car for 15 minutes!

A state trooper is driving down the highway when he sees a truck driver pull over,
walk to the side of the truck with a tire jack, bang on the side of the truck a few times, and then drive away. A couple of miles down the road the driver does the same thing.
A few more miles, same thing. The trooper pulls the truck over and asks the driver to explain. The driver says, “Well, the load limit is ten tons, and I’m carrying fifteen tons of parakeets, so I’ve got to keep some of them flying around.”