police jokes

A man goes to the police station wanting to speak to the burglar who broke into his house the night before. ‘You’ll get your chance in court,’ says the desk sergeant.
‘No, no, no! says the man. ‘I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!’

Officer to driver going the wrong way up a one way street. "And where do you think you are going?"

Driver: "I'm not sure, but I must be late as everyone else is already coming back."

A man gets pulled over by the police for speeding. The cop walks up to the car and says to the driver, “Sir, did you know that you were going 60 miles an hour?" The driver says, "Officer, there is no way I could have been going 60 miles an hour!" The cop says, “Really! Why is that? The driver replies," I could not have been going 60 miles an hour because I've only been out driving for 25 minutes."

At the start of the shift one of the police officers asks "Did you hear about the terrible head on collision on route 208 between a Thunderbird and a Mustang? There was horse manure and feathers all over the road!"
The Chief came into headquarters a few minutes later. Not being too fast on the uptake, he was asked the same question, followed by the same "Horse manure and feathers all over the road."
"Anybody hurt?" he asked.