A middle aged man buys himself a brand new convertible sports car and having just picked it up from the showroom decides to take it for a drive. Enjoying the wind in his hair as he takes another bend just kissing the apex he spies in the rear view mirror a policeman on a motorbike. Immediately he puts his foot on the gas and is soon approaching 100 miles an hour, then he comes to his senses and pulls over.
As the policeman approaches the man starts to apologies when the officer says...
“Look its 5:15PM on a sunny Friday afternoon and my shift ends in a few minuets if you can give me an excuse I have not heard before I will let you go.”
He replies “Officer my wife left me for a policeman 6 years ago and when I saw you in my mirror I though you were trying to bring her back to me.”
With this the officer closed his ticket book and waved the man on.
A police officer pulled over a driver and informed him that, because he was wearing his seat belt, he had just won $1,000 in a safety competition.
"What are you going to do with the prize money?" the officer asked.
The man responded, "I guess I'll go to driving school and get my license."
At that moment, his wife who was seated next to him, chimed in, "Officer, don't listen to him. He's a smarty when he's drunk."
This woke up the guy in the back seat, who, when he saw the cop, blurted out, "I knew we wouldn't get far in this stolen car."
Finally, there was a knock from the trunk and a voice asked, "Are we over the border yet?"