police jokes

A traffic Policeman recently stopped a woman for exceeding the posted speed limit. He asked the driver her name.

She said, "I'm Mrs. Ladislav Abdulkhashim Zybkcicraznovskaya from the Republic of Uzbekistan."

The cop put away his summons book and pen, and said, "Well... OK... but don't let me catch you speeding again."

Police cars valiantly profess, "Serve and Protect".

Next time you get pulled over by a cop, say, "Fries and a Condom, please."

A police officer pulls over a car in the middle of the night:

"Sir, do you realize how badly your car was swerving between lanes?"

"I've had 8 drinks, officer."

"That's still no excuse to let your wife drive."

A man was driving home late one afternoon, and he was driving above the speed limit. He notices a police car with its red lights on in his rear view mirror. He thinks, "I can outrun this guy," so he floors it and the race is on.

The cars are racing down the highway -- 60, 70, 80, 90 miles an hour. Finally, as his speedometer passes 100, the guy figures he can't outrun the cop and gives up. He pulls over to the curb.

The police officer gets out of his cruiser and approaches the car. He leans down and says, "Listen mister, I've had a really lousy day, and I just want to go home. Give me a good excuse and I'll let you go."

The man thought for a moment and said, "Three weeks ago, my wife ran off with a police officer. When I saw your cruiser in my rear view mirror, I thought you were that officer and you were trying to give her back to me!"