The receptionist at Howard University answers the phone:
"Good morning, Howard U."
What do you call a fly with no wings?
My friend is a Genie in a bottle.
One day he came home from work frustrated with his current master. I asked why.
He replied, "I don't know, he just rubs me the wrong way."
Sometimes when I'm driving, I know I want to change lanes. I'm just not sure which lane I want. So I turn on my hazard lights.
I may be going left, I may be going right ... either way, you have been warned.