police jokes

After gunning his BMW the wrong way down a one-way street, the rather intoxicated young man was asked where he thought he was going by a curious police officer.
“I’m not really sure,” confessed the drunk, “but wherever it is, I must be late, because everybody seems to be coming back already.”

Two prisoners were making their escape over the jailhouse roof when one of them dislodged a tile. “Who’s there shouted a guard. The first prisoner replied with a convincing imitation of a cat’s meow. Reassured, the guard when back to his rounds
But then the second prisoner dislodged another tile. The guard repeated, “Who’s there?”
“The other cat,” answered the prisoner.

A man was applying for a job as a prison guard. The warden said, “Now these are real tough guys in here. Can handle it?”

“No problem,” the applicant replied. “If they don’t behave, out they go!”

“What am I supposed to do with this?” grumbled the motorist as the police clerk handed him a receipt for his traffic violation.

“Keep it,” the clerk advises. “When you get four of them, you get a bicycle.”