police jokes

Category: "Police Jokes"
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I wasn't planning on going for a run this morning, but those mall security guards came out of nowhere!

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CATEGORY Police Jokes
posted by "Kovin Siva" |
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A deputy police officer responded to a report of a bar disturbance. The 'disturbance' turned out to be well over six feet tall and weighed almost 300 pounds. What's more, he boasted that he could whip the deputy and Muhammad Ali too.

Said the policeman, "I'll bet that you're also an escape artist, probably better than Houdini."

The giant nodded. "If I had some chains," the deputy continued, "you could show us how strong you really are. But all I've got is a set of handcuffs. Why don't you see just how quickly you can break out of them?"

Once in the cuffs, the man puffed, pulled and jerked for four minutes. "I can't get out of these," the giant growled.

"Are you sure?" the deputy asked.

The fellow tried again. "Nope," he replied. "I can't do it."

"In that case," said the deputy, "you're under arrest."

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CATEGORY Police Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
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A police officer arrives at the scene of an accident, in which a car smashed into a tree.

The cop rushes over to the vehicle and asks the driver, "Are you seriously hurt?"

"How should I know?" the man answers, "I'm not a lawyer!"

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CATEGORY Police Jokes
posted by "wadejagz" |
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A man decided that he was going to ride a 10-speed bike from Phoenix to Flagstaff. He got as far as Black Canyon City before the mountains just became too much and he could go no farther. He stuck his thumb out, but after three hours he hadn't gotten a single person to stop. Finally a guy in a Corvette pulled over and offered him a ride. Of course, the bike wouldn't fit in the car. The owner of the Corvette found a piece of rope lying by the highway and tied it to his bumper. He tied the other end to the bike and told the man that if he got to going too fast to honk the horn on his bike and he would slow down.

Everything went fine for the first 30 miles. Suddenly, another Corvette blew past them. Not to be outdone, the Corvette pulling the bike took off after the other. A short distance down the road, the Corvettes--both going well over 120 mph--blew through a speed trap. The police officer noted the speeds from his radar gun and radioed to another officer that he had two Corvettes heading his way at over 120 mph.

He then relayed, "And you're not going to believe this, but there's guy on a 10-speed bike honking to pass!"

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CATEGORY Police Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |