Al: I got fired from my job as a bank guard.
Sam: What happened?
Al: A thief came into the bank. I drew the weapon and told him that if he took one more step, I’d let him have it.
Sam: What did he do then?
Al: He took one more step, so I let him have it. Who wanted that stupid old gun, anyway?
A woman was driving down the street and got stopped by a police officer.
"May I see your driver's license?" he said.
She looked at him with disgust.
"What's the matter with you guys? I wish you'd make up your minds. You took my license from me yesterday."
Policeman: What are you looking for, Mister, did you lose something?
Man: Yes, I lost my watch.
Policeman: Where did you lose it?
Man: On Tenth Street.
Policeman: But this is Twelfth Street.
Man: I know. But when I dropped it, it was still running.