police jokes

The police just pulled me over, he came up to my window and said, “Papers?”

I replied, “Scissors, I win” and drove off.

I think he wants a re-match because he’s been following me for 45 minutes.

Did you hear about the banker who was recently arrested for embezzling $100,000 to pay for his daughter's college education?

As the policeman, who also had a daughter in college, was leading him away in handcuffs, he said to the banker, "I have just one question for you. Where were you going to get the rest of the money?"

What happens when a police officer gets into bed?

He becomes an undercover cop.

A police theft report stated that a farmer had lost 2,025 pigs. Thinking that to be an error, the officer called the farmer directly.

"Is it true, Mr. Smith, that you lost 2,025 pigs?" she asked.

"Yeth," lisped the farmer.

Being from that area herself, the officer clearly understood the farmer. She entered her report: "Subject lost 2 sows and 25 pigs."