A police officer found a lost toddler hysterically calling her mother. The police tried to talk and console the toddler.
Police: "Don't worry child, I will help you go home. Where do you live?"
Toddler: "With my parents."
Police: "Where do your parents live?"
Toddler: "With me."
Police: "Where do you all live?"
Toddler: "In our house."
Police: "Where is your house?"
Toddler: "Next to our neighbor's house."
Police: "Where is your neighbor's house?"
Toddler: "Will you get me home if I tell you?"
Police: "Tell me."
Toddler: "Next to our house."
After conducting a preliminary investigation about home burglary, the homeowner is very anxious if he could get back his stolen belongings.
Homeowner: "Officer what is the chance of me getting my things back."
Police: "It's very unfortunate this happened. I am sorry even if we catch the culprits, chances are your properties are already sold or gone."
Homeowner: "What should I do?"
Police: "Better lock next time."
The two teenagers were arrested for disorderly conduct. The police sergeant told them they were entitled to a phone call. Sometime later a man entered the station and asked for them by name.
The sergeant said, "I suppose you're the lawyer?"
"Nope," the chap replied. "I'm just here to deliver their pizza."
My neighbor is with the K-9 unit of our police department and named his partner "I KNOW WHAT YOU DID".
He watches peoples reaction when he calls his name.