police jokes

A police theft report stated that a farmer had lost 2,025 pigs. Thinking that to be an error, the officer called the farmer directly.

"Is it true, Mr. Smith, that you lost 2,025 pigs?" she asked.

"Yeth," lisped the farmer.

Being from that area herself, the officer clearly understood the farmer. She entered her report: "Subject lost 2 sows and 25 pigs."

A police officer said to a motorist, "What were you doing? Your car was zigzagging like crazy!"

"I'm learning to drive."

"Without an instructor in the car?"

"Oh, yes. It's an online course."

A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar. A $40 speeding ticket was included.

Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40.

The police responded with another mailed photo -- of handcuffs.

A detective came up and asked me where I was between 6 and 7...

He seemed annoyed when I said, “second grade."