police jokes

Dispatcher: Nine one one. What is your emergency?

Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.

Dispatcher: Do you have an address?

Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks. Why?

On a street where the speed is limit is 30 mph, the police stop a driver. "Not only have you been driving too fast, you've been passing cars where it is not allowed. Your lights don't work, your tires all completely worn out. This is surely going to cost you a lot. What's your name?"

"Schtrathewisizeski Vocgefastilongchinic."

"Well, I'll let you go this time but don't do it again."

Recently, I woke up to find that two of my car’s tires had been stolen. When the police officer arrived, he asked, “When were you last driving the car?”

“Last night at 11:00,” I said.

“And the tires were on it then?”