police jokes

A squad car driver was covering a quiet beat out in the sticks when he was amazed to find a former lieutenant on the police force covering the beat. He stopped the car and asked, "Why, Johnny, this wouldn't be your new beat out here in the sticks, would it?"

"That it is," Johnny replied grimly, "ever since I arrested the judge on his way to the masquerade ball."

"You mean you pinched his honor?" asked Pat.

"How was I to know that his convict suit was only a costume?" demanded Johnny.

"Well," mused Pat, "'tis life and there's a lesson in this somewhere."

"That there is," replied Johnny. "'Tis wise to never book a judge by his cover."

I just phoned the Police, because someone broke into my home and released thousands of house flies in it...

They're sending out the swat team!

Someone stole my car last night.

But before I called the police I had a thought.

"The heck with it. Let them explain all the bodies in the trunk!"

Policeman: "Excuse me, sir, did you see a man in a long, black coat, carrying a briefcase pass by here a moment ago?"

Dopey Dan: "No."

Policeman, skeptical: "Did he tell you to say that?"

Dopey Dan: "Yes."