The police recently arrested a man selling "secret formula" tablets he claimed gave eternal youth.
When going through their files they noticed it was the fifth time he was caught for committing this same criminal medical fraud.
He had earlier been arrested in 1794, 1856, 1928 and 1983....
After being locked in an impenetrable strongroom, a panicked Dr. Watson cries, "How are we to escape, Holmes?"
Calmly, the sleuth produces a small knife and a lemon, which he carefully cuts into small pieces. He then sticks the pieces of lemon on the wall in the shape of a door, and with a push creates a doorway.
An astonished Watson asks, "How on earth did you do that, Holmes?"
"Lemon-entry my dear Watson, Lemon-entry!"
A police officer found a perfect hiding place for speeding motorists. One day he was suspicious when everyone was going under the speed limit.
He found the problem. There was a boy standing with a sign that read "Radar Trap Ahead".
A few hundred yards down the road stood his friend with a sign reading "Tips" and a bucketful of change.