Why was 2019 afraid of 2020?
Because today they got into a fight and 2021...
What do you call it when you mix alcohol and American Literature?
I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9...
The odds were against me.
Shop assistant: How about this one?
Psychic: That shirt is too small.
Shop assistant: You didn't even try it on?
Psychic: I'm a medium.