My GPS just told me to turn around...
Now I can’t see where I’m driving.
I broke up with my girlfriend of 5 years because I found out she was a communist...
I should have known, there were red flags everywhere.
What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
An abdominal snowman.
The salesman at the furniture store told me, “This sofa will seat 5 people without any problems.”
I said, “Where the hell am I going to find 5 people without any problems?”