Lumberjack: Can I axe you a question?
Tree: Wood you please?
Lumberjack: Besides dogs, what other living creature barks?
Tree: I'm stumped.
I can’t take my dog to the park because the ducks keep trying to bite him...
I guess that’s what I get for buying a pure bread dog.
If you rearrange the letters of MAILMEN...
They get really upset.
80% of my couch fell on my foot today...