puns jokes

Category: "Puns"
1 votes

It was approaching the end of the year at John’s school, and so near prom time. He decided that he wanted to try his luck and ask the most popular girl in his year out. So he got in line to ask her, and he waited, and he waited, and he waited. When he finally got to the front of the line, he was amazed because the girl said yes! She also handed him a long list of criteria he would have to meet for her to go with him.

The first criterion was a limousine. So he went to the limousine shop and, as it was near prom time, he waited and waited and waited to get to the front of the line and hired a limousine. The second criterion was a suit from the most prestigious clothes maker in the city. So John went to that shop and waited and waited and waited to be fitted. Once he got his suit he looked at the list and chased up the next criteria on the list (roses, tickets, chauffeur, etc.) and at each one he had to wait for a very long line.

Finally it was the night of the prom. John went and picked up the girl in his limousine, had the chauffeur drive them to the prom, picked up his roses, and arrived at the prom venue. To get in to the prom they waited and waited to get in. When they finally got to their seats, John’s girl asked him to get her a glass of punch. When John got to the punch table, he was surprised, because there was no punch line.

1 votes

CATEGORY Puns
posted by "wadejagz" |
2 votes

A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal medicine man who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation.

When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the medicine man looked him in the eye and said, "Let me tell you, with fronds like these, who needs enemas?"

2 votes

CATEGORY Puns
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
1 votes

Alcohol and calculus don’t mix...

Never drink and derive.

1 votes

CATEGORY Puns
posted by "wadejagz" |
2 votes

A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register.

His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official, who apologized profusely saying, "I must have taken Leif off my census."

2 votes

CATEGORY Puns
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |