puns jokes

Someone asked me to name two structures that hold water.

I was like well, damn.

I can't believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician...

I was just sitting there doing nothing.

Her: At least invite me out to dinner.

Him: I don't go out with married women.

Her: But I'm your wife.

Him: I make no exceptions.

When I was a kid, I wanted to play the guitar badly.

And after years of hard work, practice and dedication, I can now play the guitar... badly.