Today I learned that if you flip a canoe over you can wear it as a hat... Because it's cap-sized!
When Sunday and Monday get into a fight, who typically wins? Sunday, because Monday is a weekday.
I'm absolutely heartbroken. My Wife just broke up with me over my chronic gambling addiction... ... But it's okay, I'll win her back.
What happens when a cougar loses their hearing? They become a Def Leppard!