puns jokes

My landlord texted me saying we need to meet up and talk about how high my heating bill is.

I replied back: “Sure, my door is always open.”

Man: I'm new around here. Will you please direct me to the bank?

Little boy: I will, but only if you pay me ten dollars.

Man: Why should I pay you so much?

Little boy: Because bank directors are always highly paid.

All day I drill holes in metal and bolt them together...

At first it's boring, but then it's riveting.

Everyone has heard of the historical figure, Karl Marx...

But no one remembers his sister, Onya, who invented the starting pistol.