Lumberjack: Can I axe you a question? Tree: Wood you please? Lumberjack: Besides dogs, what other living creature barks? Tree: I'm stumped.
I can’t take my dog to the park because the ducks keep trying to bite him... I guess that’s what I get for buying a pure bread dog.
If you rearrange the letters of MAILMEN... They get really upset.
80% of my couch fell on my foot today... ...ouch!