puns jokes

I was kidnapped by mad scientist who experimented on me, replacing my limbs with animal ones.

If I ever see him again I'll tear him apart with my bear hands.

How Buzz Aldrin introduces himself...

"Hi, I'm Buzz Aldrin, second man on the moon... Neil before me!"

I put my phone under my pillow last night.

When I woke up it was gone and there was a $1 coin in it's place.

It was the Bluetooth Fairy.

My wife yelled from the bedroom asking, “Do you ever get a shooting pain across your body like someone’s got a voodoo doll of you and they’re stabbing it?”

I replied, “No.”

She yelled back, "What about now?"