A man walks into his doctor’s office and says, “Doctor, I think I’m addicted to Twitter.”
The doctor looks at him and says, “Sorry, I don’t follow you."
Google is so useless...
I tried to look up lighters and all they had was about 15,000 matches.
My house is haunted by a ghostwriter...
Last night, I came home and my autobiography had been written.
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He will stop at nothing to avoid them.