My wife had mentioned several times that she hoped I could get our grass mowed this weekend. Well, I procrastinated a bit too long and while I was watching football on TV, there was a 37 yard pass with a spectacular catch for a go ahead touchdown.
I jumped up and shouted, "Oh my GOSH! Did you see that?!?!"
And my wife said, "Yes, I see... what a lovely lawn they have."
His team was 20 points behind and the coach was desperate, so he looked down the bench to his 330 pound tackle that was not his brightest player. The coach called him over and asked him, "If I put you in, can you play ruthless?"
"I sure can coach! Which one is ruthless?"
Oakland Raiders football practice was delayed on Monday for nearly two hours. One of the players, while on his way to the locker room, happened to look down and notice a suspicious-looking, unknown white powdery substance on the practice field.
Practice was immediately suspended while the Drug Enforcement Agency was called in to investigate.
After a complete field analysis, the DEA determined that the white substance unknown to the players was the goal line. Practice was resumed when the DEA agents decided that the team would not be likely to encounter the substance again.