Two newlyweds quickly realized their marriage wasn't working and filed for a divorce. The judge asked them what the problem was. The husband replied: "In the five weeks that we've been together, we haven't been able to agree on a single thing."
The judge turned to the wife: "Have you anything to say?"
She answered: "It's been six weeks, your honor."
A husband and wife were at the mall when they got separated. The wife calls him on her cell phone. "Where are you?" she asks.
"Well, do you remember the store when we were first married and you were looking at a beautiful ring in the jewelry store window, but we could not afford it?"
"Yes", she replies, excited to think about what he was about to say, a tear forming in her eyes.
"Great, I am at the sports store right next to it."
Husband: Look dear, I just bought us one of those plug in air fresheners. But for some reason it's not working.
Wife: It's not plugged in.
Husband: You mean I have to plug it in for it to start freshening the air?
Wife: It's a plug in air freshener. How can it work if you don't plug it in?
Husband: It makes no scents!