marriage jokes

Category: "Marriage Jokes"
0 votes

John and Nancy were married for 40 years and decided they wanted to renew their vows and planned a second wedding.

They were discussing the details with their friends. Nancy wasn't going to wear a traditional bridal gown and she started describing the dress she was planning to wear. One of her friends asked what color shoes she had to go with the dress.

Nancy replied, "Silver."

At that point, her husband chimed in, "Yep, match her hair."

Shooting a glaring look at John's bald spot, Nancy's friend said, "So, John, I guess you are going barefoot then."

0 votes
posted by "HENNE" |
0 votes

Al: What kind of woman did you marry?

Sam: She's an angel, that's what she is.

Al: Boy, you sure are lucky. Mine's still living.

0 votes
posted by "D-Gellybean" |
5 votes

A frustrated husband sits in front of his laptop:

Dear Google, please do not behave like my wife... please allow me to complete my sentence before you start guessing and suggesting.


5 votes
posted by "Leogal" |
1 votes

A newly married couple was having breakfast at their new apartment when the next door neighbor hung out laundry that appeared to still be dirty.

The new wife commented to her husband that their neighbor did not how to properly do laundry, how to put in correct amount of bleach. detergent, etc. She made this comment every Monday for the next month. Finally, one day, the neighbor's wash appeared to be perfectly clean. The new wife commented on this and said the whole load looked really good.

The husband then replied, "Honey, I got up early today and washed our windows."

1 votes
posted by "barber7796" |