marriage jokes

Category: "Marriage Jokes"
0 votes

I'm not the easiest guy in the world to get along with. So when our anniversary rolled around, I wanted my wife to know how much I appreciated her tolerating me for the past 20 years. I ordered flowers and told the florist to enclose a card that read, 'Thanks for putting up with me so long.'

When my wife got the delivery, she called me at work.

"Just where do you think you going?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" I said.

She read the card aloud as the florist had written it: "Thanks for putting up with me. So long."

0 votes
posted by "outward" |
2 votes

(Wife) Eleanor Roosevelt said “intelligent people are those with ideas”.

(Husband) That sounds like me I always have ideas!

(Wife) Honey, I don’t think Mrs. Roosevelt was thinking about ideas that start out with, “Hey guys watch this!”

2 votes
posted by "Marty" |
0 votes

Following a major hurricane, a man worked long hours clearing the jumble of trees that littered his family property. The longer he worked, however, the more painful it became for him to move his right arm.

He repeatedly ignored his wife's pleas to see the doctor until one night he yelped, "Ow! This is getting serious. I need to go see a doctor"

His wife then turned to him in concern. He added, "Now it hurts to push buttons on the remote control."

0 votes
posted by "wadejagz" |
3 votes

(Husband) Hey Peaches!
(Wife) Yes chubby cheeks!

(Husband) Please don't call me chubby cheeks!
(Wife) OK, please don't call me peaches!

(Husband) Fine if you promise not to call me chubby cheeks! I'm putting the move on here, are you about ready plum cakes?

(Wife) I'LL BE RIGHT THERE LOBSTER CLAWS!!!

3 votes
posted by "Marty" |