A fisherman began to drill a hole in the ice to fish when a voice called out, "You can't fish there."
He moved the drill a few feet and began to drill again and the voice repeated, "You can't fish there either."
After three more attempts he yelled, "Why can't I fish here?"
"You can't fish anywhere here, this is an ice rink."
A man was showing his friend a new set of matched golf clubs he had just bought.
"Doctor's orders," the man told his friend. "My wife and I have been gaining too much weight and we went to see the doctor about it. He said we needed more exercise, so I joined the country club and bought myself this set of golf clubs."
"What about your wife?" the friend asked. "What did you buy her?"
"A new lawn mower," the golfer said.