Category: Judges Jokes



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Ranking: 4.20 / 59
A woman was arrested for shop lifting. When she went before the judge he asked her, “What did you steal?” She replied: “a can of peaches.” The judge asked her why she had stolen them and she replied that she was hungry. The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can. She replied 5. The judge then said, “I will give you 5 days in jail.”
Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment the woman’s husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something. The judge said, “What is it?”
The husband said, “She also stole a can of peas.”
#21078    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Apr/27/2010    pub.:Apr/27/2010    sent:Oct/21/2014


Ranking: 3.52 / 121
The drunken defendant appears yet again before the tired judge, who says, "You have been constantly appearing before me for the past twenty years." Replied the drunk: "Can I help it if you can't get promoted?"
#22213    
Thanks to: Duffy Sheeran - Ohio - USA.
rec.:Aug/15/2011    pub.:Nov/7/2011    sent:Jan/24/2012


Ranking: 3.48 / 85
The lawyer was cross-examining a witness.
“Isn’t it true, “he bellowed, “that you were I given $500.00 to throw this case?”
The witness did not answer. Instead, he just stared out the window as though he hadn’t
heard the question. The attorney repeated himself, again getting the same reaction - no response.
Finally, the judge spoke to the witness, “Please answer the question.”
“Oh,” said the startled witness, “I thought he was talking to you.”


#5414    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Jul/20/2002    pub.:Jul/20/2002    sent:Apr/19/2014


Ranking: 3.18 / 125
A pick pocket was pronounced guilty and sentenced to 8 months jail term with an option of $200 fine by the judge. His defense lawyer knowing that his client could not pay the fine, pleaded with the judge asking; “Your honor, my client can only afford $50, but if you allow him a few minutes in the crowd …

#17660    
Thanks to: amaikwu adaobi juliet - lagos - lagos - Nigeria
rec.:Jan/30/2007    pub.:Feb/5/2007    sent:Aug/28/2014


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