Category: Judges Jokes

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Ranking: 2.47 / 88
“What is your occupation?” asked the judge.
“I’m a locksmith, your honor.”
“And what were you doing in the jeweler’s shop at three in the morning when the police officers entered?’
“ I was making a bolt for the door!”

Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Apr/26/2004    pub.:Apr/26/2004    sent:Feb/15/2005

Ranking: 2.74 / 53
The millionaire was arrested for speeding and brought before the judge in a small community. When the judge offered him the alternative of paying a $10 fine or serving ten days in jail the millionaire decided to take the ten days. “But, my good man, you are wealthy,” said the judge, amazement ringing his face. “Why you should prefer ten days in jail to paying a $10 fine is beyond me.” “It’s like this, Judge,” the man explained. “Our chef left and my wife figures it’ll take that long to find a new one.”
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Apr/20/2010    pub.:Apr/20/2010    sent:Jun/30/2010

Ranking: 2.21 / 77
What did the judge say when a skunk entered the courtroom?
Answer: Odor, Odor in the court!!!
Thanks to: Cuzzi - Michigan
rec.:Jun/1/2001    pub.:Jun/1/2001    sent:Jun/1/2001

Ranking: 2.86 / 22
Two judges from a small county happen to be stopped for speeding on the same day. They agree that there's no point in calling the state Supreme Court for a visiting judge; they'll just go ahead and hear each other's case.
The next morning, one judge takes the bench, the other sits at counsel table. The first judge admits he's guilty, and the second judge suspends the fine and court costs for him.
They then switch places, the second judge pleads guilty as well, but the other judge fines him $200 plus all court costs.
The second judge is exceedingly upset: "I suspended your fine and costs and you go and give me the maximum!"
The first judge responds: "Well, look at the increase we've just had for this crime. SOMEBODY has to do something about it!"

Thanks to: Pat Sheeran (thanks to fellow Judge David Cain!) - Columbus - Ohio - USA.
rec.:Dec/5/2012    pub.:Jun/17/2013    sent:Oct/30/2014

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