Category: Judges Jokes



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Ranking: 2.02 / 52
At a court date the judge asked, “What makes you think the prisoner was drunk?”
“Well, your honor,” replied the arresting officer, “I saw him lift up the manhole cover and walk away with it, and when I asked him what it was for he said, “I want to listen to it on my record player.”
#13277    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Apr/26/2004    pub.:Apr/26/2004    sent:May/13/2004


Ranking: 1.86 / 43
“Guilty or not guilty of begging?’ asked the magistrate.
“Nearly guilty,” said the beggar.
“What do you mean, ‘nearly’ guilty? Asked the puzzled magistrate.
“Well, your honor, I asked the lady for twenty-five cents but I didn’t get it.”
#13285    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Apr/26/2004    pub.:Apr/26/2004    sent:May/24/2004


Ranking: 2.86 / 7
Two judges from a small county happen to be stopped for speeding on the same day. They agree that there's no point in calling the state Supreme Court for a visiting judge; they'll just go ahead and hear each other's case.
The next morning, one judge takes the bench, the other sits at counsel table. The first judge admits he's guilty, and the second judge suspends the fine and court costs for him.
They then switch places, the second judge pleads guilty as well, but the other judge fines him $200 plus all court costs.
The second judge is exceedingly upset: "I suspended your fine and costs and you go and give me the maximum!"
The first judge responds: "Well, look at the increase we've just had for this crime. SOMEBODY has to do something about it!"

#23233    
Thanks to: Pat Sheeran (thanks to fellow Judge David Cain!) - Columbus - Ohio - USA.
rec.:Dec/5/2012    pub.:Jun/17/2013


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