Category: Programmers Jokes

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Ranking: 3.35 / 131
Q: How many Microsoft engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. They just declare darkness the standard
Thanks to: Karen
rec.:Jun/20/1998    pub.:Jun/20/1998    sent:Mar/10/2008

Ranking: 3.08 / 130
Our staff has completed the 18 months of work on time and on budget. We have gone through every line of code in every program in every system. We have analyzed all databases, all data files, including backups and historic archives, and modified all data to reflect the change. We are proud to report that we have completed the "Y-to-K" date change mission, and have now implemented all changes to all programs and all data to reflect your new standards:
Januark, Februark, March, April, Mak, June, Julk, August, September, October, November, December
As well as:
Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak, Wednesdak, Thursdak, Fridak, Saturdak
I trust that this is satisfactory, because to be honest, none of this Y to K problem has made any sense to me. But I understand it is a globalproblem, and our team is glad to help in any way possible. And what does the year 2000 have to do with it? Speaking of which, what do you think We ought to do next year when the two digit year rolls over from 99 to 00? We'll await your direction.
Thanks to: Carolina Soldera
rec.:Mar/14/1999    pub.:Mar/14/1999    sent:Feb/11/2013

Ranking: 3.14 / 50
Warning Signs of Insanity for Programmers. 
1. You stay up all night coding only to realize that you haven't had any caffeine in about 6 hours. 
2. You wonder why on earth anyone would make a programming language conform to such absolutely bizarre rules of grammar but in a strange way it actually begins to make sense. 
3. You start dreaming in recursion (if you have any time to dream). 
4. You realize not only is it daytime but your project is due in 2 hours, which isn't enough time to even begin running it. 
5. You start customizing your environment because you want it "just right" (and because further work on the program is futile). 
6. You wonder when the invasion will begin. 
7. You understand #8. 
8. You start signing your name in octal (or binary) just because. 
9. You know more programming commands than actual words. 
10. You realize that you have reached the end, and there is no closing command. 
Thanks to: Anonymous
rec.:Apr/24/2000    pub.:Apr/24/2000    sent:Apr/24/2000

Ranking: 2.67 / 51
Q: How come legacy programmers get Halloween and Christmas confused?

A: Because Oct 31 = Dec 25 (Octal 31 = Decimal 25)
Thanks to: Curtis Aikens - St. Albert - Alberta - Canada
rec.:Oct/12/2005    pub.:Dec/22/2005    sent:Dec/28/2012

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