scifi jokes

A man was walking home alone one night when he heard a "BUMP....BUMP....BUMP..." behind him. Walking faster, he looked back, making out an image of an upright coffin banging its way down the middle of the street towards him...."BUMP...BUMP...BUMP..."

The man began to run toward his home, and the coffin bounced after him faster....faster...BUMP BUMP BUMP!

He ran up to his door, fumbled with his keys, opened the door, rushed in, and locked it behind him. The coffin crashed through his door, with the lid of the coffin clapping BUMP...BUMP...BUMP... on the heels of the terrified man. The man rushed upstairs to the bathroom and locked himself in, heart pounding.

With a CRASH, the coffin broke down the door, coming slowly toward him. The man while screaming, reached for something, anything... all he can find was a box of cough drops which he hurled at the coffin.

Suddenly, the coffin stopped.

A group of extraterrestrials were sent to earth to monitor and/or stop the use of nuclear weapons. The first creature they made contact with was a chimpanzee. Mistakenly they mistook the chimp as being the dominant species of planet earth.

After scanning the chimp one of them looked at the others and said, “This must be a mistake, perhaps we’re on the wrong planet.”

One of the other Aliens said, “You may be right. It’s obvious these beings are far too intelligent to use nuclear power in a destructive way."

A scientist finally realizes his dream of creating a formula for becoming invisible. Entering the family home, he trips over a mysterious unseeable lump. The mystery quickly unraveled after finding a note left by his less scientific sibling written as follows:

Dear Brother,

Hope you don’t mind. I’ve borrowed your formula to do some tests of my own. First, I will run through walls! Second...